it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
