two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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