so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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