no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
