I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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