You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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