Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
