Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
