So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
