I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
