Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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