She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
