my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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