don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
