We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
