doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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