come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
