I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you inspire me to be a worse person
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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