I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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