Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize