i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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