Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
