HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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