A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Let's get the cat blown out
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
