Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
