I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
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