How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
