Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
