fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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