I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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