At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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