Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
