I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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