look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
