You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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