How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
