Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
