dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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