If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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