well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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