I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
