I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
