If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
