it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
