Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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