After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
