Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
