omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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