Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize