Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
