Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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