His pubic hair was longer than his dick
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
