fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
