so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
