so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
