Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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