nutella sex= disaster
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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