Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
