just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
