I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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