If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
