So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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